“I hope you realize you’re the one white face of the company,” one of the top Toyota bosses said to me.

After buying a one-way ticket to Singapore to pursue a pipe dream of launching my career abroad, I’d just started working my first real job with Toyota in Singapore. We were in the middle of my first official meeting when he said this.

“Thank you,“ was all I could think to respond. Three years later, I would have just nodded in acceptance.

Over the past four months, I’ve been on a college campus book and speaking tour promoting this story and my book, One White Face, quoted from the Toyota boss. One of the questions I get asked the most is, “Hilary, what was it like working as the only Caucasian?”

What a complex question, I always think. Working as the only Caucasian was one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. Here are a few things I learned:

1) Everyone is in search for their identity

Whether you’re one Singaporean face, one sad face, one lonely face, one ambitious face…You can replace white with any adjective you wish to describe someone, internally or externally. The real significance of this phrase is not here though—it’s in “one face”. No matter who you are, we all have one face, one identity that we are trying to understand. We have one path we are all trying to find and live up to. Yet we still continue to define people by these adjectives.

2) People are not defined by what you see on the outside

I may be white but often I felt I could relate more to Asians then my friends back home. Sometimes I was sad, sometimes I was happy. Sometimes my face was energetic, sometimes it was weary. Please don’t judge me for a moment in time. Judge me for who I am as a person. We should spend less time criticizing people and more time compassionately trying to understand them. Ultimately, by doing so, we help them on this journey to further discover their identity.

The truth is though…

3) We are all human

I even catch myself criticizing Asians based on stereotypes even though I know them well. When we get in ruts, we react. We get defensive and argumentative. However, it’s not our true selves. Deep down, at the end of the day, we all want the same thing. We all want to be able to support our family, to be a good friend and spouse, to love and be loved. We all want to be happy. So let’s help each other despite our cultural differences. We are in this together.

Another question I frequently receive tour is,” Hilary, what do you think he really meant by that question?”

After the big boss coined me as the “one white face”, I took my seat again and tried to focus as the meeting continued, but his comment had put a splinter in my heart. What was I thinking, moving halfway across the world to work for a foreign car manufacturer?

As the meeting progressed, I plucked the splinter and attempted to think more positively. The big boss wasn’t telling me he didn’t want me there. He was making a statement to help me understand my situation. The company had taken a risk in hiring me; it was up to me to prove I was worth it. I would have to overcome the barriers of race, gender, and nationality.

But, don’t we all?

*Thank you to Jeramy of the API Study Abroad Programs for the inspiration of this piece

Due to the inspiration of my friend, Luke Barbara, I take a break in my Plug-in Prius to make a a video outlining my mantra for 2012. In your life, try to look forward with the perspective of how you want to live your life and less of what you want to accomplish.

Smile.

Be a good friend.

Accept your intuition.

Dare yourself.

Stay humble. Stay frugal.

Give more.

Be considerate.

Smile.

Be compassionate.

Put yourself around people you like, people that inspire you and make you better.

Let go of everything in the past, but don’t let go of today.

Understand others before you criticize them.

Love. And be loved.

Commit yourself to someone.

Be grateful for the ability to open our eyes and be blessed with sight.

Smile.